Is the Nuclear Family to Blame?

 Over at UnHerd.com they have an essay by conservative philosopher Yoram Hazony that's condensed from his new book Conservatism: A Rediscovery.

Hazony argues that the root of our problem is the post-World War II "nuclear family" where the man goes out to work, the wife is a "housewife" stuck at home, and the kids go to school until age 18 when they themselves head out to more school or work until they form a new nuclear family. And in this world "grandparents and other family relations [are]... impossibly distant."

[T]he household is no longer the location of a common business enterprise, of devotion to God and the study of Scripture, of a direct responsibility for the education of the young, of a direct responsibility for honouring and caring for the old, and of significant responsibilities for the establishment and growth of the community and congregation[.]

So why wonder that everything is falling apart?

What's needed is to restore something of the multigenerational family, Hazoni writes.

[Maybe under COVID many] have had their first glimpse of what the family was like when it was a strong political institution, in which generations worked together to create a permanent community, very much resembling a little tribe or nation.

Or is Hazony yearning for a return to an Eden that never was?

My feeling about modern society is that it "just growed." When Hazony writes about the post World War II

world of detached suburban homes connected to distant places of employment and schools by trains, automobiles, and buses [with] a newly rationalised conception of what a family is

I think it is a mistake to think of it as being rationalized. I think that it just happened from millions of decisions of ordinary people including the Levitts that found lots of people willing and eager to move into Levittowns just out of town from big cities like New York.

For instance, in these days we have people building and buying bigger and bigger houses, with childless couples wanting to live in 3,000 to 4,000 sq.ft. homes. What's the point? Well, humans seem to like living in a spacious dwelling. And the more spacious the better.

People like to be connected to grandparents, and grandparents like to be near their children and grandchildren. But humans also don't like other family members interfering and telling them what to do. On balance, it seems like a lot of people have made a decision to live at a certain distance from their extended family. But why? Who knows?

Maybe we humans would be better off living in multigenerational households. But first of all we have to discover that for ourselves, and develop religion and culture that nurtures such a society. And in any society, some people make decisions that benefit them and theirs, and other people make decisions that harm themselves and others. Which happens after the event looking back at a life well-spent, or a life ill-spent.

And what do we do with the drunken sailor that seems determined to mess up his life and everyone else's?

It ain't gonna happen through politics.