Corporations Need an anti-Diversity Vaccine

We all know the vital importance of everyone getting the vaccime. Why, people should be fired if they don't get vaccinated.

But think of America's worst pandemic since the Sixties Kids: Woke Capitalism; Diversity, Equity and Inclusion; and ESG.

The fact is that any corporation that gets woke goes broke. Just ask Dis-e-ney.

The fact is that any corporation that has a Director of Diversity is asking for Trouble with a Capital T. Just ask State Farm that ran into a buzz saw over the trans books it was shilling into schools.

Any corporation that gets into ESG (Environment, Social, Governance) that focuses on "sustainability" is pointing itself to the exit.

I was thinking of this in particular with respect to the twerps at State Farm. What on Earth did Michael L. Tipsord, State Farm CEO, think he was doing by letting his Chief Diversity Officer Victor Terry get off the bit and get into "a project to push LGBTQ books into schools?"

The answer is obvious. Once a corporation has a Chief Diversity Officer there is no end to the stupidity that the officer and his underlings will get into. 

It's easy for the CEO to think: OK now I've got a diversity officer so that's taken care of the lefty activist NGOs that keep turning up at shareholders' meetings. The problem is that he has introduced a lefty virus into the corporation that, like any virus, will take over the host unless it is kept severely in check. And with a virus, experts agree, nothing less than universal vaccination will work.

It's not just that the diversity guy will go out and hire stupid fools with the right DNA du jour who will degrade the corporation's performance because they are not up to snuff and know that they can't be fired for incompetence. The problem is that -- as with all political and cultural fashions  --the diversity gig will get out of hand. And that, unlike Kansas City, it won't quickly go as fur as it can go, but will metastasize into all kinds of fashionable folly advocated by the Activist Culture that will actively harm the corporation and infuriate its racist-sexist-homophobe clients. Maybe the virus will actually kill the host!

So every corporation needs a high-level officer whose sole job is to put a stop to stupid diversity stuff. And woke stuff. And ESG stuff. And indeed any stupid stuff that has nothing to do with the job of the corporation, which is to keep churning out widgets for the benefit of the customers.

Actually, the problem is bigger than woke and diversity and ESG. As my boss complained 50 years ago, the people working for him were always going off at tangents. And young as I was, I understood what he was talking about. If you are a software engineer, it is always a temptation to work up some cool software tool that improves the elegance of the software. It is always tempting to clean up the sofware mess resulting from years of updates and make it real shiny and cool. It is always tempting to go off and do something that has nothing to do with the job in hand, because it is fun and the project in hand is not fun, but just boring work. If you are an administrator it is much more interesting to introduce some new fashionable idea than just grind away at your real job. Because work is hard. That's why we get paid to do it.

But what should the officer be called? Chief Diversity Veto Officer? Chief Woke Alert Officer? Chief Corporate Vermin Eliminator? Chief Bureacratic Bloat Eliminator?

Your guess is as good as mine.