No one can doubt that, at the center of the astonishing economy of the United States is the vital economic cog of the syndicated TV program Wheel of Fortune. The luscious blonde wheel turner Vanna White was sui generis. And the host of the program, Pat Sajak, has toiled away in the vineyard of Fortune seemly forever, still the bright, cheery emcee that the program demands. To top it off, Pat is a conservative.
And now Pat has offered to give us the secret of winning at Wheel of Fortune. You’d expect that, coming from a conservative. Not for Pat the easy life of sitting at a government job, counting the days till retirement and that pension. Not at all. Pat wants to help people. So he can make a lot of money charging extortionate rates to advertisers on his program.
What is the secret? It is simple. Buy vowels!
I know. That’s easy for him to say. Each vowel costs a contestant a princely $250 out of their winnings. But Pat says it is worth it. Here’s why.
There are 21 consonants and 5 vowels. That means you have a one-in-five chance of finding a vowel, while only better than a one-in-twenty chance of finding a consonant. Add to that the fact that buying a vowel removes the risk of landing on a "Bankrupt" or "Lose a Turn" space that spinning entails. If anyone on the Wheel staff (including the host) were playing the game, he or she would begin buying vowels as soon as possible, especially when the puzzle is a lengthy one.
Pat has another suggestion. But you should read his article to find out.
Meanwhile, just remember one thing. It’s what your rich uncle would have suggested. Buy vowels.
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