A Father Speaks

In these diverse postmodern days what should a father do?  The father of teenaged girls, that is.

Doug Giles has some ideas.  You see, he doesn’t get with the “hip and groovy dad” bit that lacks a strong “opinion regarding their [daughters’ dating life.”  No sirree.  Says he:

Yes, seeing that I’m still the Alpha dog of the Giles castle, that I still pay the bills, buy the SUVs, pay for College and secure their condos, then by God, I’m still makin’ the rules.

How about ten rules about all this, or as we say in judgmental America, Commandments, for young swains to observe when they are swaining around the house?

1. Know what?  I don’t like having you around.
2. You’d better have a life.  Ideally you should be pursuing a “noble goal at Mach2 with your hair on fire.”
3. No touching my daughter.  Certainly not in my house.
4. You will “look me in the eye, shake my hand like a man and turn off your cell phone.”
5. You are the boy; I am the man.
6. “Our family is old school.”
7. You can earn my favor with gifts: cigars, for instance.
8. Forget the dirty jokes.
9. You will keep your word—even in small things.
10. Three things: “Look good,” “read” so that you can converse intelligently, and “serve... round the house, in our community, in our nation and with our wonderful world.”

Really, what’s not to like?